You know, it’s a real shame that I don’t drink because I think I discovered the perfect drinking game while I was driving home from work the other day.  Here’s how it works: Tune in to AM 700 WLW for the 5:00 PM newscast. Every time someone says the call sign of the radio station ("700 WLW"), take a drink.  Assuming that you are drinking a 1.5 ounce shot of 100-proof whiskey for each call sign, you will consume somewhere around 15 to 18 shots between 5:00 and 5:08 PM.  So shortly after the newscast, your Blood Alcohol Level will be somewhere between .512% and .617% BAL.

Most people go comatose around .400% BAL and death is imminent around .500% BAL, so play at your own risk. Being drunk might slightly improve your listening experience if you’re tuned to WLW.  And if you’re comatose, then you won’t even notice any of  their tired old jokes, right-wing grandstanding and perpetual race-baiting.  So there really is a trade-off to be considered here, right?  As for me, I think I’ll just stop listening to WLW altogether before it drives me to take up drinking.